The One SEO Kit That Doesn’t Waste Your Time
Stop Hiding From Google. Start Showing Up For Your Business.
This is your ‘no excuses’ starter kit. Quick wins, better rankings, and the clarity you’ve been spiraling around looking for.
Spiraling is dumb. Let’s stop that.
No shame. Just strategy.
Always Googling things you don’t know?
You're not the problem. The internet is.
Posting and praying?
Hope isn’t a marketing plan.
Tired of yelling into the void?
Let’s give people something worth hearing.
Hot mess site? Not cute.
Fixable though. And we like a comeback.
Your business deserves better.
And so do you, honestly.
Traffic but no sales?
You’re hosting a party no one wants to stay at. Let’s fix the vibe.
I’ll do it Later.
Later's been ghosting you since last year.
Your website is giving ‘2008 called.
Time to hang up and glow up.
You don’t need a rebrand. You need clarity.
Bold fonts can’t fix bad SEO.
Can't afford help?
Perfect. This kit is your rich-bitch starter pack.
Your site needs Google’s attention.
And not in a “yikes” kinda way.
Half-done won’t cut it anymore.
Your business isn’t a DIY craft project.
If you’re here, it’s already bad.
But at least you’re self-aware. That’s hot.
You need more than digital duct tape.
No more patch jobs, quick fixes, or crossing fingers.
Sick of guessing games?
You’re not failing—you’re just missing a system.
Spiraling is dumb. Let’s stop that.
No shame. Just strategy.
Always Googling things you don’t know?
You're not the problem. The internet is.
Posting and praying?
Hope isn’t a marketing plan.
Tired of yelling into the void?
Let’s give people something worth hearing.
Hot mess site? Not cute.
Fixable though. And we like a comeback.
Your business deserves better.
And so do you, honestly.
Traffic but no sales?
You’re hosting a party no one wants to stay at. Let’s fix the vibe.
I’ll do it Later.
Later's been ghosting you since last year.
Your website is giving ‘2008 called.
Time to hang up and glow up.
You don’t need a rebrand. You need clarity.
Bold fonts can’t fix bad SEO.
Can't afford help?
Perfect. This kit is your rich-bitch starter pack.
Your site needs Google’s attention.
And not in a “yikes” kinda way.
Half-done won’t cut it anymore.
Your business isn’t a DIY craft project.
If you’re here, it’s already bad.
But at least you’re self-aware. That’s hot.
You need more than digital duct tape.
No more patch jobs, quick fixes, or crossing fingers.
Sick of guessing games?
You’re not failing—you’re just missing a system.
Spiraling is dumb. Let’s stop that.
No shame. Just strategy.
Always Googling things you don’t know?
You're not the problem. The internet is.
Posting and praying?
Hope isn’t a marketing plan.
Tired of yelling into the void?
Let’s give people something worth hearing.
Spiraling is dumb. Let’s stop that.
No shame. Just strategy.
Always Googling things you don’t know?
You're not the problem. The internet is.
Posting and praying?
Hope isn’t a marketing plan.
Tired of yelling into the void?
Let’s give people something worth hearing.
Spiraling is dumb. Let’s stop that.
No shame. Just strategy.
Always Googling things you don’t know?
You're not the problem. The internet is.
Posting and praying?
Hope isn’t a marketing plan.
Tired of yelling into the void?
Let’s give people something worth hearing.
Spiraling is dumb. Let’s stop that.
No shame. Just strategy.
Always Googling things you don’t know?
You're not the problem. The internet is.
Posting and praying?
Hope isn’t a marketing plan.
Tired of yelling into the void?
Let’s give people something worth hearing.
Spiraling is dumb. Let’s stop that.
No shame. Just strategy.
Always Googling things you don’t know?
You're not the problem. The internet is.
Posting and praying?
Hope isn’t a marketing plan.
Tired of yelling into the void?
Let’s give people something worth hearing.
Spiraling is dumb. Let’s stop that.
No shame. Just strategy.
Always Googling things you don’t know?
You're not the problem. The internet is.
Posting and praying?
Hope isn’t a marketing plan.
Tired of yelling into the void?
Let’s give people something worth hearing.
Spiraling is dumb. Let’s stop that.
No shame. Just strategy.
Always Googling things you don’t know?
You're not the problem. The internet is.
Posting and praying?
Hope isn’t a marketing plan.
Tired of yelling into the void?
Let’s give people something worth hearing.
Spiraling is dumb. Let’s stop that.
No shame. Just strategy.
Always Googling things you don’t know?
You're not the problem. The internet is.
Posting and praying?
Hope isn’t a marketing plan.
Tired of yelling into the void?
Let’s give people something worth hearing.
Spiraling is dumb. Let’s stop that.
No shame. Just strategy.
Always Googling things you don’t know?
You're not the problem. The internet is.
Posting and praying?
Hope isn’t a marketing plan.
Tired of yelling into the void?
Let’s give people something worth hearing.
Spiraling is dumb. Let’s stop that.
No shame. Just strategy.
Always Googling things you don’t know?
You're not the problem. The internet is.
Posting and praying?
Hope isn’t a marketing plan.
Tired of yelling into the void?
Let’s give people something worth hearing.
Hot mess site? Not cute.
Fixable though. And we like a comeback.
Your business deserves better.
And so do you, honestly.
Traffic but no sales?
You’re hosting a party no one wants to stay at. Let’s fix the vibe.
I’ll do it Later.
Later's been ghosting you since last year.
Hot mess site? Not cute.
Fixable though. And we like a comeback.
Your business deserves better.
And so do you, honestly.
Traffic but no sales?
You’re hosting a party no one wants to stay at. Let’s fix the vibe.
I’ll do it Later.
Later's been ghosting you since last year.
Hot mess site? Not cute.
Fixable though. And we like a comeback.
Your business deserves better.
And so do you, honestly.
Traffic but no sales?
You’re hosting a party no one wants to stay at. Let’s fix the vibe.
I’ll do it Later.
Later's been ghosting you since last year.
Hot mess site? Not cute.
Fixable though. And we like a comeback.
Your business deserves better.
And so do you, honestly.
Traffic but no sales?
You’re hosting a party no one wants to stay at. Let’s fix the vibe.
I’ll do it Later.
Later's been ghosting you since last year.
Hot mess site? Not cute.
Fixable though. And we like a comeback.
Your business deserves better.
And so do you, honestly.
Traffic but no sales?
You’re hosting a party no one wants to stay at. Let’s fix the vibe.
I’ll do it Later.
Later's been ghosting you since last year.
Hot mess site? Not cute.
Fixable though. And we like a comeback.
Your business deserves better.
And so do you, honestly.
Traffic but no sales?
You’re hosting a party no one wants to stay at. Let’s fix the vibe.
I’ll do it Later.
Later's been ghosting you since last year.
Hot mess site? Not cute.
Fixable though. And we like a comeback.
Your business deserves better.
And so do you, honestly.
Traffic but no sales?
You’re hosting a party no one wants to stay at. Let’s fix the vibe.
I’ll do it Later.
Later's been ghosting you since last year.
Hot mess site? Not cute.
Fixable though. And we like a comeback.
Your business deserves better.
And so do you, honestly.
Traffic but no sales?
You’re hosting a party no one wants to stay at. Let’s fix the vibe.
I’ll do it Later.
Later's been ghosting you since last year.
Hot mess site? Not cute.
Fixable though. And we like a comeback.
Your business deserves better.
And so do you, honestly.
Traffic but no sales?
You’re hosting a party no one wants to stay at. Let’s fix the vibe.
I’ll do it Later.
Later's been ghosting you since last year.
Hot mess site? Not cute.
Fixable though. And we like a comeback.
Your business deserves better.
And so do you, honestly.
Traffic but no sales?
You’re hosting a party no one wants to stay at. Let’s fix the vibe.
I’ll do it Later.
Later's been ghosting you since last year.
Your website is giving ‘2008 called.
Time to hang up and glow up.
You don’t need a rebrand. You need clarity.
Bold fonts can’t fix bad SEO.
Can't afford help?
Perfect. This kit is your rich-bitch starter pack.
Your site needs Google’s attention.
And not in a “yikes” kinda way.
Your website is giving ‘2008 called.
Time to hang up and glow up.
You don’t need a rebrand. You need clarity.
Bold fonts can’t fix bad SEO.
Can't afford help?
Perfect. This kit is your rich-bitch starter pack.
Your site needs Google’s attention.
And not in a “yikes” kinda way.
Your website is giving ‘2008 called.
Time to hang up and glow up.
You don’t need a rebrand. You need clarity.
Bold fonts can’t fix bad SEO.
Can't afford help?
Perfect. This kit is your rich-bitch starter pack.
Your site needs Google’s attention.
And not in a “yikes” kinda way.
Your website is giving ‘2008 called.
Time to hang up and glow up.
You don’t need a rebrand. You need clarity.
Bold fonts can’t fix bad SEO.
Can't afford help?
Perfect. This kit is your rich-bitch starter pack.
Your site needs Google’s attention.
And not in a “yikes” kinda way.
Your website is giving ‘2008 called.
Time to hang up and glow up.
You don’t need a rebrand. You need clarity.
Bold fonts can’t fix bad SEO.
Can't afford help?
Perfect. This kit is your rich-bitch starter pack.
Your site needs Google’s attention.
And not in a “yikes” kinda way.
Your website is giving ‘2008 called.
Time to hang up and glow up.
You don’t need a rebrand. You need clarity.
Bold fonts can’t fix bad SEO.
Can't afford help?
Perfect. This kit is your rich-bitch starter pack.
Your site needs Google’s attention.
And not in a “yikes” kinda way.
Your website is giving ‘2008 called.
Time to hang up and glow up.
You don’t need a rebrand. You need clarity.
Bold fonts can’t fix bad SEO.
Can't afford help?
Perfect. This kit is your rich-bitch starter pack.
Your site needs Google’s attention.
And not in a “yikes” kinda way.
Your website is giving ‘2008 called.
Time to hang up and glow up.
You don’t need a rebrand. You need clarity.
Bold fonts can’t fix bad SEO.
Can't afford help?
Perfect. This kit is your rich-bitch starter pack.
Your site needs Google’s attention.
And not in a “yikes” kinda way.
Your website is giving ‘2008 called.
Time to hang up and glow up.
You don’t need a rebrand. You need clarity.
Bold fonts can’t fix bad SEO.
Can't afford help?
Perfect. This kit is your rich-bitch starter pack.
Your site needs Google’s attention.
And not in a “yikes” kinda way.
Your website is giving ‘2008 called.
Time to hang up and glow up.
You don’t need a rebrand. You need clarity.
Bold fonts can’t fix bad SEO.
Can't afford help?
Perfect. This kit is your rich-bitch starter pack.
Your site needs Google’s attention.
And not in a “yikes” kinda way.
Half-done won’t cut it anymore.
Your business isn’t a DIY craft project.
If you’re here, it’s already bad.
But at least you’re self-aware. That’s hot.
You need more than digital duct tape.
No more patch jobs, quick fixes, or crossing fingers.
Sick of guessing games?
You’re not failing—you’re just missing a system.
Half-done won’t cut it anymore.
Your business isn’t a DIY craft project.
If you’re here, it’s already bad.
But at least you’re self-aware. That’s hot.
You need more than digital duct tape.
No more patch jobs, quick fixes, or crossing fingers.
Sick of guessing games?
You’re not failing—you’re just missing a system.
Half-done won’t cut it anymore.
Your business isn’t a DIY craft project.
If you’re here, it’s already bad.
But at least you’re self-aware. That’s hot.
You need more than digital duct tape.
No more patch jobs, quick fixes, or crossing fingers.
Sick of guessing games?
You’re not failing—you’re just missing a system.
Half-done won’t cut it anymore.
Your business isn’t a DIY craft project.
If you’re here, it’s already bad.
But at least you’re self-aware. That’s hot.
You need more than digital duct tape.
No more patch jobs, quick fixes, or crossing fingers.
Sick of guessing games?
You’re not failing—you’re just missing a system.
Half-done won’t cut it anymore.
Your business isn’t a DIY craft project.
If you’re here, it’s already bad.
But at least you’re self-aware. That’s hot.
You need more than digital duct tape.
No more patch jobs, quick fixes, or crossing fingers.
Sick of guessing games?
You’re not failing—you’re just missing a system.
Half-done won’t cut it anymore.
Your business isn’t a DIY craft project.
If you’re here, it’s already bad.
But at least you’re self-aware. That’s hot.
You need more than digital duct tape.
No more patch jobs, quick fixes, or crossing fingers.
Sick of guessing games?
You’re not failing—you’re just missing a system.
Half-done won’t cut it anymore.
Your business isn’t a DIY craft project.
If you’re here, it’s already bad.
But at least you’re self-aware. That’s hot.
You need more than digital duct tape.
No more patch jobs, quick fixes, or crossing fingers.
Sick of guessing games?
You’re not failing—you’re just missing a system.
Half-done won’t cut it anymore.
Your business isn’t a DIY craft project.
If you’re here, it’s already bad.
But at least you’re self-aware. That’s hot.
You need more than digital duct tape.
No more patch jobs, quick fixes, or crossing fingers.
Sick of guessing games?
You’re not failing—you’re just missing a system.
Half-done won’t cut it anymore.
Your business isn’t a DIY craft project.
If you’re here, it’s already bad.
But at least you’re self-aware. That’s hot.
You need more than digital duct tape.
No more patch jobs, quick fixes, or crossing fingers.
Sick of guessing games?
You’re not failing—you’re just missing a system.
Half-done won’t cut it anymore.
Your business isn’t a DIY craft project.
If you’re here, it’s already bad.
But at least you’re self-aware. That’s hot.
You need more than digital duct tape.
No more patch jobs, quick fixes, or crossing fingers.
Sick of guessing games?
You’re not failing—you’re just missing a system.
What You Get
Why It Matters
We Can Hear You Overthinking It
Let's Clear Up Your Concerns
Still Spiraling?
Your concerns are valid. I want you to have all your questions and concerns answered before committing. I want you to be a HELL YES, LET'S GO. If not, you won't follow through and WILL stay stuck.
Let's Clear Up Your Concerns
Can I actually do this without a tech degree?
Yes. If you can run your biz, you can run this kit.
How fast will I see results?
Google doesn’t do instant gratification, but most folks start seeing shifts in 2–6 weeks.
What if I already have someone doing my SEO?
Then hand them this and make sure they’re doing the basics. No shame in double-checking.
Does this include blogs?
You’ll get one month of prompts—no writer’s block, just plug and post.
Can I upgrade later?
Absolutely. This is your toe in the water. Want the cannonball? Book a full service.
Still Spiraling?
Is this going to take me forever?
Nope. You can knock out the whole kit in a weekend—less if you don’t spiral every time you log into Google Console. (We see you.)
What if I hate tech and would rather lick a cactus?
Totally valid. That’s why we made it simple, click-by-click. If it still gives you hives, book a strategy call and we’ll do it with you.
Do I need this if I already have a site?
Yes. Especially if your site is hiding on page 8 of Google like it’s in witness protection. This is how we bring it back into the spotlight.
Can I use this if I’m still building my site?
Absolutely. Start strong. This kit is like giving your website its vitamins before it gets sick. SEO works best when you don’t wait until launch day.
Will this work for product-based businesses too?
OF COURSE! Whether you're slinging candles, t-shirts, or digital downloads, the SEO gods want structure, keywords, and metadata. This kit delivers that—without the corporate jargon.